The Colour of Concious

Akapat refused to eat the fish he has caught. It was not that he was not hungry, but it was the process of being one with the prey that unsettled him. He wondered, was it really worth to get so intimate with the process of butchery.

He will come around, the tiger spoke to the falcon, as both of the looked at him. He sat under a tree, with his back on its trunk and observed the flow of the river. Repeatedly, he kept looking at his hands, which for some reason, did not turn dark, even after what he felt was such a heinous crime.

You must eat, the falcon said. The sacrifice should not go to waste. Neither yours to hunt and neither of the fish of being hunted. Both need courage.

The Falcon is right Man Cub, the tiger said, you must eat. We have a long journey ahead.

Falcon, Akapat said, looking at the bird, do you feel guilty about your hunts too.

No, the Falcon replied without flinching. Hunting is not a choice but a reality for me. Don’t you agree with me tiger? He said as he looked at the tiger.

There is no guilt for hunting Man cub, but yes there is always a gratitude towards the hunted. Had it not been him, we would die of hunger. The tiger said philosophically.

Boy, the Falcon said, we animals are bound by one rule. Survival. And the survival is not limited to us as an individual but the entire ecosystem around us. The dear eat the grass and keep moving ahead. New grass grows in the grazing grounds. The droppings of the deers feed the soil, which in turn feeds the grass. The tiger hunts the deer, eats his fill, and other scavengers have theirs. The remains become dust and dust become grass and tress. Life you see is cyclic and we all are paying our part by ensuring the survival of not only us but the system.

It is only man, the tiger spoke, who hunts for recreation. No animal keeps a hunting trophy but a man does. And more often than not, he is not guilty of his conduct. I agree that it started with the fear and the urge for survival, until it became a disease. Now humans threaten everything including themselves.

Akapat heard them silently. He was enraged and ashamed at the same time. He did not know which was more dominant emotion. He wanted to shout and cry loudly. It was never before in this journey that he has missed his mother more. But he held his tears bravely.

Is there an escape from all this? Akapat asked abominably.

There is no escape, both the heads of the snake spoke in unison. The more desperate you are to run away, the harder it is to escape. Just turn around and face your fears. There was a momentary lull before one of the head spoke, there is no shame in survival, and no judgement in the way you want to do it. Chameleons change their color, the other head spoke as the first remained silent, the hyenas change their character. None is wrong, none.

What am i supposed to do, Akapat said with desperation in his voice.

At first, you must eat. The Falcon said. Then you must prepare for the journey ahead. It is a long journey. I have seen it from the top, he said looking at the sky, the green sea expands beyond many horizons.

What are you hinting at Falcon, the tiger asked as he walked upto Akapat.

I am hinting at the challenges that await you. The Falcon said. There will be days where there will be no sun and nights without a single star. There will be days of hunger and days of more hunger. Then there will be endless days of rain. You will be tested, you will be torn. You need to be strong for that.

I agree, the snake said. That is why I don’t intend to travel far. I have heard that before the first horizon there is a place where there is a hot spring. I want to be left there.

The hot spring sounds interesting, the Falcon said. But the grass there is not so green. The water there keeps boiling and some days the spring emits lava. And there are no trees. There you won’t survive a single day.

But, I will die at the place of my choice Falcon, the snake said. After all we all have to die one day. The why should I die everyday with fear. One day I am scared that my blood will freeze, the other day a falcon, no, he corrected himself, a vulture threatens me. It never end. At least, I won’t die of cold.

Even the double headed snake has some clarity of thought, the Falcon said with admiration.

It is not easy to have two heads and live one life Falcon. Every thought tears you apart. The snake heads spoke with pride. But we do. We exist in contradictions, we thrive in ambiguity. It is an are not everyone can perfect.

It is good, one snake heads spoke turning towards Akapat, that your conscious is so awakened boy. And it is bad at the same time, said the other head. You don’t need to have two heads, both head spoke in unison, looking at the Falcon and the tiger. Sometimes being double mined is enough.

You must my boy, said the snake in unison, reevaluate yourself. To end what you have started, you must to be ruthless. Your heart can be kind, but your mind has to be stubborn. You must have courage to make difficult choices. You must have the madness to live up to those choices. And for that you, my boy must eat.

Akapat saw eight pairs of eyes staring at him. They were angry, they were bewildered, they were loving all at the same time. He took a deep breath and stood up.

Come let’s eat.