Letters to AnSh

The fire crackled in the stillness of the night. Akapat sat by the fire and watched the river flowing in darkness. He was still shaken from within, and every time he closed his eyes he felt the water gushing around him. It will take time to go away, the Falcon said. It was still perched on his right shoulder and watched the leaping flames. The reflection of glowing fire in his eyes made them look ominous. I could have died, Akapat said, nervously. But you lived, the Falcon replied. It was so stupid, so stupid of me to go against your advice tiger, Akapats voice was riddled with guilt. We have literally crossed the river now, the tiger said, keeping his paw reassuringly on his shoulder. So, there is no point in reliving that moment again. I made a wrong decision tiger, Akapat was apologetic, and please forgive me for going against your advice. Hah, the tiger said, what is more important is that you made a decision. And it is only in retrospect that we can say with certainty that what d...

… Here, the river runs shallow, the Falcon said, before it meets another one and becomes as large as the sea. It must be crossed. They have been walking for past five days along the meandering river. The progress was sure but slow. None of them were in any hurry to get over with the journey. They relished every step of it, learning something new with every passing day and every fleeting night. I don’t know how to swim. Akapat declared ardently. You don’t have to know it, you are born with it. The snake hissed as he pushed his head from the two side of the flap which closed the bag Akapat carried. The Tiger gave him a vexed look and spoke. You my friend, can’t even walk straight, yet you want to speak about swimming across a river. I am sure you won’t even survive the first draft. I know I won’t, the Snake said with his voice echoing with gratitude, and I am thankful to you my friends for taking me along with you. That very much unlike a snake, the Falcon said as it can and perched on A...

Akapat sat by the fire and watched the flame consume the night. He felt cold and homesick. He felt lonely and angry. The events of the day had overwhelmed him. He was torn by the brutal realities of survival that surrounded him. He missed his mother. He badly did. Everyday. And, at the same time he has leant to accept that nothing can be done about it. Every morning he woke up with a forlorn emptiness and slept every night with a disconsolate aftertaste. But the love that tore him apart also gave him strength. The separation from his mother also gave him the courage to explore the unexplored. What worse can befall on me, he often told tiger. My mother was my whole world. He dreamt of her too. More often then not. Once he saw her, at the door of their house, waiting for him to return back. The other time he saw her at the dusadhya pass. She was calling him home. The other night he saw he was a baby with wide eyes. He was smiling at his mother who was singing a lullaby for him. Once he s...

Akapat refused to eat the fish he has caught. It was not that he was not hungry, but it was the process of being one with the prey that unsettled him. He wondered, was it really worth to get so intimate with the process of butchery. He will come around, the tiger spoke to the falcon, as both of the looked at him. He sat under a tree, with his back on its trunk and observed the flow of the river. Repeatedly, he kept looking at his hands, which for some reason, did not turn dark, even after what he felt was such a heinous crime. You must eat, the falcon said. The sacrifice should not go to waste. Neither yours to hunt and neither of the fish of being hunted. Both need courage. The Falcon is right Man Cub, the tiger said, you must eat. We have a long journey ahead. Falcon, Akapat said, looking at the bird, do you feel guilty about your hunts too. No, the Falcon replied without flinching. Hunting is not a choice but a reality for me. Don’t you agree with me tiger? He said as he looked at t...

The first rule of hunting, the Falcon told Akapat, is not to kill another being for fun. Akapat stood in the river with water up to his knees. The falcon was perched on his right shoulder . Then, the falcon continued its instructions, you must become the river, one with its flow, one with its voice. I quite didn’t get you! Akapat told the Falcon. I expected as much, the Falcon said with no emotions in its voice. Focus is the key to success, he continued. When you are flying thousands of feet above the river, you cannot look for a fish. It is impossible. Rather you look at the river and focus on the rhythm of its flow. You focus so intently and deeply that your mind becomes one with the river. And then, you can feel every ripple and every fold in the river right here in your mind. The falcon pecked at Akapat’s head. How do you get the fish then, Akapat asked impatiently. It doesn’t happens so quickly my boy. The Falcon continued. You need a lot of persistence. The fishes moving in water...

Akapat woke up to a crescendo of birdsongs. He opened his eyes and saw countless birds perched on treetops singing merrily in the light of the rising sun. He looked at the little window to the sky. The sky was painted in many hues of multitudinous colors and looked bewitching. The colors bled surreally into the waters of the flowing river. This must be the paradise people imagined, Akapat thought as he immersed himself further into this experience. Suddenly, from the corner of his eyes, he noticed moment in the water. He looked up and saw a falcon in dive. Sweet potatoes, he thought and in reflex quickly dived to cover his bag. This distracted the falcon which braked and swooped up in the sky. He recollected himself and sat down, parting the dirt from his clothes. It was only then he realized that it was the two headed snake, still sleeping by the fire the intended target of the falcon. The big bird will be very very angry, the tiger spoke with his head on his paws. You have stolen his...

The tiger looked confused. Beneath its clawless paw, there was a snake. A two headed snake. I mean you no harm. Both heads pleaded. I came here because of the warmth of the fire. The river bed is too cold. Akapat, was dumbfounded. Does such things really exist, he asked the tiger? Well, the snake said, with his both heads speaking in unison. If a speaking tiger can exist, so can a two headed snake. Not really, the tiger said, taking his paw off from the snake. A talking tiger is a matter of understanding. It means that the boy and me and you can communicate irrespective of the languages we speak. But a two headed snake is disruptive biology. Are there more of your kind? Akapat asked. None that I know of, the snake heads spoke in unison again. How would it be if one of you speaks at a time. The tiger directed sternly. Well we can, they said together. Let me make it more simple. The tiger said, tapping the snake with his paws. Once you speak, he tapped one head, the other time you do. He...

The night came early in the wilderness under the fallen sky. And it was melancholic. It was not darkness that was overwhelming but the absence of stars which made it miserable. We must light some fire, the tiger whispered. Yes, i feel that the darkness is seeping inside my bones.Akapat replied. They had decided to halt by the river, as it gave them a little window to the sky. The white sand, glowed under the ambient light and presented a sliver of hope. It was not much difficult to gather drift wood scattered along the river. Akapat stacked them together and started the fire. He had achieved some dexterity in the task in the last few days. The glow of the fire was resuscitating. Both sat dawn by the fire and felt at ease. Is hope not a little thing boy, the tiger asked. Oh yes it is, Akapat said, taking out two sweet potatoes from his back pack. Oh yes it is. We have few more of these left with us. Then we are totally on hope. Then he took a stick and pushed it across the sweet potato...

It was dark and it was damp and it reeked of death. The first thought which entered Akapat’s mind was that he is going to die. It froze his legs and choked his breaths. the tiger sensed the somberness in his feet. We can still turn back,he suggested. tiger, Akapat asked, looking at him with disquiet, is death the ultimate truth ? well boy, the Tiger replied, looking at him intently, no one ever came back alive to tell that. But why do you ask ? You have not even lived. Akapat looked around. Life is so decomposed over here. It seems that everything meets its end over here. I would rather say, the tiger spoke with equanimity, that the life begins here. If you look deliberately, you will notice that a new life sprouts on every dead twig. Dead leaves become mushrooms, dead trunks become trees. Life always defies death. Hope always overcomes despair. Akapat brooded over the thought for a while and then looked around. Suddenly a new world emerged in front of his eyes. The darkness and the g...

Under the wavy canopy of the sea of green was darkness. The tiger and Akapat sat at the edge of the sea of green and watched the river , which has carried them so far, disappear in its gloominess. It looks scary, it was Akapat who spoke first. If this thing can swallow the river, what are we. Yes, it does look scary from the outside, but once you enter its belly, it becomes enlightening. The tiger sounded assuring. Enlightening, Akapat was amazed. Yes, the tiger continued. Darkness makes you see the things the light hides from you. In facts the light hides everything by distracting you. It is only in dark that we can focus inwards and see what we truly need to see. And what is that we truly need to see, Akapat asked the tiger. The whole world in its nakedness. Replied the tiger. We need to see the instinct for survival and the lust of power, he continued. We need to see that it is a man eats man world and man also eats everything else. Only when we are truly aware of this selfishness ...

For two days and two nights, they walked in complete silence, halting occasionally to feed on the boiled sweet potatoes they carried. The fatigue helped them to overcomes the trauma that Kartavya’s death had triggered in them. While the tiger took it in a stride, assimilating the experience in his being, it was difficult for Akapat. Tears would often stream down his eyes spontaneously as he sobbed while walking along the tiger. The tiger noticed it but said nothing. He felt that a catharsis is must. They followed the rivulet that ran across the backyard of the house where Smriti and Kartavya lived. By the end of the first day, it became a stream and by the end of the second day, it became a roaring river. May we halt for a while and wash my face, Akapat asked the tiger. Be careful of the roaring current, the tiger replied as he sat down on the ground. Akapat walked up-to the edge of the river which was foaming with cascading water. The sound of the gushing water was soothing and stimul...

Is he dead ? Akapt asked the tiger. I told you that dogs are allergic to Mushrooms. The tiger said with grief in his tone. Kartavya lay dead at the spot where the first sunlight touched the courtyard. Exactly where he had asked to be buried along with Smriti. Did he killed himself? Akpat asked the tiger. No. He was already dead when Smriti died. Today he just embraced it. It was important for him to be buried along with her. Is this what is called love? Akapt quizzed the tiger. Must be, the tiger replied pensively. She was the world to him. But did she loved him too. Akapt was curious. We will never know that, the tiger replied. But for the sake of peace, we must assume she did. Now let us fulfill his last wish. Let us burry them together. I did saw a pick axe in the fire room, Akapat said. Let me go and get it. Yes, you will have to do most of the labor. You know we tigers cannot dig. … It was almost evening by the time they buried them together. They heaped the mud over their grave a...

The morning was murky. It seemed that the Gods have decided to test Akapat too early. He sat by the fire and watched the tiger snore. He looked at the sky. It was filled with dark clouds. They seemed to be furious and eager to make rain. Suddenly a thunderclap resounded with conviction and woke up the entire forest. There was an instant cacophony as the crowd began to caw and wolves began to howl. Here they go again, the tiger spoke as he woke up and opened his eyes. It is scary, Akapat said. His ears were tucked between his knees. Are you not scared of the thunderclaps? Well, the tiger spoke as he got up and stretched himself, i am old, and i have never seen an animal die because of a lightning strike. But, yes i have seen many die of fear. Then, Akapat said, taking his head out from between his knees, is fear a bad thing. Yes and no. The tiger said, still stretching his body. Fear makes you weak when you have all to loose, yet it makes you stronger when you have something to preserve...